i took this in verona the morning after the arctic monkeys concert and everything was silent and still and i remember thinking that i would have given anything for the world to stay this way
I refuse to chase anyone anymore.
Time. It’s something I am selfish with. And words. They are something I love but never use properly, or should I say, not use the way you expect me to.
Both are what we always fight about. Always. One day, we argue about how I am at work most of the time. The next day, we fight about how much I use words to hurt you more than heal you whatsoever. Worse is when we fight about both at the same time. And I am
usuallyalways at fault.
Tell you what, I may be busy juggling school, work, and you all at the same time. But there are moments, reoccurring moments, when I stop and think about you. You do not know this, of course. Because all you know is I don’t miss you as much as you miss me. That is so unfair it pisses me off every single time.
But I choke my words because yes, I do not trust myself with them. But you want me to say something, don’t you. And so I tell you how I really feel because it’s what you want. But when I do, you get mad. I don’t understand you sometimes. You want my words, no actually you want my sweet, mushy, poetic, and most of all, my dishonest words. You’d rather I lie to you because it is easier that way. At least for you. You have zero idea how hard this is hard for me. You don’t.
I may be selfish with my time and words. But you are just selfish.
It’s hard to wake up
from a nightmare
if you aren’t even